In most Miao areas, the degree of marriage autonomy is relatively high. Miao youths in various places have traditional free social activities with the main purpose of choosing a spouse. In Xiangxi, it is called "going to the border" or "meeting girls", in Qiandongnan Miao, it is called "traveling", in Rongshui, Guangxi, it is called "sitting on the girl" or "walking the village", in northwestern Guizhou, it is called "stepping on the moon", in central Guizhou and some western Miao, it is called "jumping flowers" and "jumping fields", etc. In such social activities, young men and women can sing and talk in groups of three or five or alone, openly or quietly. Falling in love in the form of singing is the most representative and ethnic custom in the Miao marriage culture. Some Miao communities also have places for young people to fall in love, such as Youfangping in Qiandongnan and Girl's Room in Northeast Yunnan. Miao youth do not focus on property and family background when choosing a spouse, but pay more attention to personal talent and character. After finding a suitable lover, both parties can exchange tokens of love. In general, parents' consent is required for marriage. In most Miao areas, young people's own marriages and arranged marriages by their parents coexist. These two situations are not necessarily irreconcilable contradictions. It depends on which tendency is stronger. Generally speaking, parents and children respect each other and seek opinions from each other. Forced marriages are rare. Moreover, social customs allow and protect the free choice of young people. Therefore, in most cases, parents preside over the marriage after free love. The specific steps are that after the young people have agreed, the man asks the parents for their opinions and asks the matchmaker to go to the girl's house to propose marriage. Normally, the girl's parents will not object. Sometimes, chicken divination is used to decide whether the marriage is feasible. Once the matchmaker is arranged, the two parties will discuss the wedding date and betrothal gifts. Before the marriage, the man must give a sum of money or other property to the girl's uncle's family, which is called "uncle money". If the parents do not agree, the young man and woman can elope and seek support from relatives or social forces. After a long time, the parents will recognize the fait accompli. Of course, there are also those who obey their parents' orders, and there are also a few who have emotional tragedies caused by their parents' arrangement. Another form is forced marriage or similar forms of forced marriage. If a young man and woman fall in love freely and are willing to be lifelong partners, the man invites a few friends or brothers to bring or "rob" the woman to his home one night, and the marriage is concluded. Three days later, a "well-off" old man is invited to bring a chicken to the woman's parents to "report the marriage" and ask them to approve the marriage. Then the two parties agree on the date and specific matters of the "return home" wedding. The age of Miao youth to get married is generally between 16 and 20 years old. There is also the phenomenon of early marriage, about 14 or 15 years old. Early married couples usually have to wait until both parties reach adulthood before they can live together. In terms of marriage selection, people of the same clan (same surname) do not marry, and marriage between aunts and uncles is preferred. People of different generations do not marry. Different ethnic groups and even different branches of the Miao people basically do not marry. In many areas of the Miao people, there is a custom that the couple does not marry on the wedding day. The bride spends the first night with the bride's escort and the groom's sisters. In some places, the wedding is mainly held at the woman's home. The Miao people in Southeast Guizhou have the custom of "not staying at the husband's house" (sitting at home), that is, the bride will live in her parents' home after returning home, and only return to her husband's home for a short stay during festivals or busy farming seasons, and only stay at her husband's home for a long time after she becomes pregnant. The sitting at home period can last from one to two years to four to five years. After marriage, divorce can be made due to emotional incompatibility and other reasons. Generally, the party who proposes divorce must pay compensation to the other party. Widows can remarry, and there are also places where there is a custom of changing houses, which is generally done by the same generation, but it is not compulsory. The Miao people are all monogamous families. The nuclear family and the main family are the main family structures in Miao society. Women and men have relatively equal status before and after marriage, and women have a certain say in family affairs, but overall it is still a patriarchal society. Children's bloodline is from the father, the lineage is calculated according to the father's line, and family property is inherited according to the father's line. The Miao people have a system of father-son joint names, which is now typical in Southeast Guizhou and no longer exists in other regions. The Miao people have their own ethnic surnames, but now most of them have adopted Chinese surnames. Before liberation, the Huayuan Miao people generally practiced monogamy, with some wealthy families practicing polygamy. Marriages between men and women were mainly arranged by matchmakers. Miao youths came into contact with each other and fell in love through labor, marriage, market, and visiting relatives. After many dates, singing love songs, and exchanging gifts, they established a romantic relationship and then got married freely. Engagement usually means that the man's family takes the initiative to ask the woman's family for marriage. When the man takes a fancy to a girl or a man and a woman fall in love, the man must prepare gifts and ask the matchmaker to go to the woman's family to "ask for advice". If the woman's family is happy and enthusiastic, it means that they are interested in getting married. The matchmaker will then tell the man's family and take the opportunity to formally propose marriage. The more times the matchmaker goes back and forth, the better, commonly known as "the more you ask, the more valuable it is". The woman's family discusses and agrees, the marriage is initially decided, and the engagement is formally made by setting off firecrackers and drinking wine. After the engagement, the man will choose a day to "give gifts" to the woman, usually one year before the wedding. The gifts include glutinous rice cakes, wine, meat, rice, sugar, etc. The amount of gifts depends on the economic conditions of both parties. The main purpose is to let the woman invite her family and friends to the wedding wine and recognize the new relatives. Afterwards, the man will "ask for the birth date" of the woman so that he can ask the "yin and yang master" to choose an auspicious day for the marriage. The night before the wedding, the man will grab a brother to be the "man in charge of the relationship" and lead the team carrying the sedan chair and dowry to the woman's house to welcome the bride. Before that, the bride must live in a separate family. On the day of the wedding, the bride's sisters like to joke and mix the soot of the pot with bamboo shoots or chili water and smear it on the face of the "man in charge of the relationship", which makes people laugh. The wedding is usually late at night or the early morning of the next day. After the bride trims her eyebrows and gets dressed, she cries and pays homage to her parents, and is carried to the sedan chair by her brothers. The bride is accompanied by her relatives and girlfriends when she gets married. In particular, women with many children are invited to be the "bride-in-waiting mothers". Male and female singers are also invited to go to the groom's house to compete in singing. After the wedding, the "bride-in-waiting man" leads the way with a lantern to the groom's house. At the same time, all the guests who went to the bride's house for the wedding banquet go to the groom's house for the "foot-chasing wine", which is called "main guests". The other scattered guests from the groom's family are called "secondary guests". When the bride is brought to the front door of the groom's house, the groom's family must light a pile of fire, which symbolizes good luck and prosperity. Then the bride enters the house at the chosen auspicious time. When entering the house, the whole family of the groom must hide in a high place, which means that the bride will not suppress the whole family in the future. After the bride enters the house, she must take the cooking utensils handed over by the middle-aged woman of the groom's side to show that she will be the head of the family from now on. Then, she sits on a stool with "talisman paper" placed on the right side of the fire pit until all night. In the afternoon, guests come to congratulate, and the groom sets up a banquet to entertain them, especially the "main guests" must be warmly entertained. In the evening, the "Bajiangsha" (Miao language, meaning singer) invited by the groom and the bride's family will start the duet, and the guests will enjoy it all night long. On the morning of the second day, a drinking ceremony will be held. An old man from each side of the host and the guest will exchange congratulations and toasts, congratulating the couple on their love and harmony, living together for a hundred years, and everything going well. They will sing and celebrate, tell ancient sayings about marriage, and give each other gifts. During the wedding, the man's relatives will jointly invite guests to dinner, commonly known as "Paijiafan". Therefore, the wedding period is two days. Before the guests leave, the bride and groom can only meet, but cannot stay together. After the guests leave, the newlyweds return to their normal life.